First published: 2020-03-10

The Better You Become

The Need To Be Challenged

I have a low tolerance for boredom. I think I've tried twenty different sports by now, each one for just a few months. But for some reason Karate was always the exception and I've been practicing it since I was 8. While it lost its novelty a long time ago it constantly kept challenging me. It seemed that every week there was a limitation that I had to identify and overcome.

But after turning 30 I started to feel that going to sleep bruised two times per week lost its appeal. With a heavy heart I quit karate.

To keep challenging my body I started a strength training routine at the gym. While repetetive it is deeply satisfying to look at your daily stats and see black on white evidence that you're the strongest you've ever been in your life.

And to keep challenging my agility I signed up for Tango.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=TG5F4rt2Ol4

Tango

Tango is said to be the most difficult dance, both physically and musically. This caused Tango dancers to develop a reputation for being particularly arrogant. Each technique that you add to your repertoire has to be earned, and even if you're not one to succumb to arrogance you do tend to feel proud of yourself.

After trying all five schools in Krakow I picked one that suited my character best. They teach a style called Tango Nuevo. From wikipedia:

[Around 1990 two guys from Buenos Aires] applied the principles of dance kinesiology from modern dance to analyze the physics of movement in Argentine tango. Taking what they learned from this analysis they then began to explore all the possibilities of movement within the framework of Argentine Tango.

Learning how to dance by applying a scientific method? Sounds perfect.

And dedicating eight lessons in a row to mastering the technique of... taking a step forward? Few schools do that, as few students would endure it. But my teachers don't care about student compliants.

These are the best teachers I've had in my life. They are not just maestros who teach, they are true teachers who study the art of teaching. They base their lessons on deliberate practice. And they are aware that other people see things differently, so they invite other people to teach at their school. In the past year my group was taught by seven instructors, which is unusual considering that the school has only around 10 students. Their school is not a profitable business, it's ran only for prestige.

The Better You Become

Interestingly, some of the instructors have martial arts backgrounds, which shows in the way they teach. And in martial arts philosophy is just as important as physical training.

During one lecture a teacher explained how wonderful it feels to lead a Boleo, and feeling the energy transferred from the woman's foot all the way to his spine. He pondered for a minute and continued: "but not everyone will reach this level." And as a colorally to that he added: "The better you become, the fewer people you can dance with."

I couldn't get this thought out of my head and I started seeing this principle everywhere. The friends people surround themselves with, the groups they belong to and the spouses they pick for themselves.

I don't think this stems from our desire for status.

In How To Get Rich Felix Denis says that "It's lonely at the top". We're social animals. Maybe it's best to stay average.